Skippy’s List: The 213 things Skippy is no longer allowed to do in the U.S. Army
A quick note from Skippy:
I don’t mind if you want to quote a few items from my list of your site. But please do not copy the list in it’s entirety.
Explanations of these events:
a) I did myself, and either got in trouble or commended. (I had a Major shake my hand for the piss bottle thing, for instance.)
b) I witnessed another soldier do it. (Like the Sergeant we had, that basically went insane, and crucified some dead mice.)
c) Was spontaneously informed I was not allowed to do. (Like start a porn studio.)
d) Was the result of a clarification of the above. (“What about especially patriotic porn?”)
e) I was just minding my own business, when something happened. (“Schwarz…what is *that*?” said the Sgt, as he pointed to the back of my car? “Um….a rubber sheep…I can explain why that’s there….”)
To explain how I’ve stayed out of jail/alive/not beaten up too badly….. I’m funny, so they let me live.
So there you go....drop into http://skippyslist.com/list/ and see the rest of them.....this is only a brief sample. Hope you don't wet yourself laughing....
28. Don’t take the batteries out of the other soldiers alarm clocks (Even if they do hit snooze about forty times).
29. The Irish MPs are not after “Me frosted lucky charms”.
30. Not allowed to wake an Non-Commissioned Officer by repeatedly banging on the head with a bag of trash.
31. Not allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for any of my actions.
32. Not allowed to let sock puppets take command of my post.
33. Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.
34. (Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody.
35. Not allowed to sing “High Speed Dirt” by Megadeth during airborne operations. (“See the earth below/Soon to make a crater/Blue sky, black death, I’m off to meet my maker”)
36. Can’t have flashbacks to wars I was not in. (The Spanish-American War isn’t over).
37. Our medic is called “Sgt Larwasa”, not “Dr. Feelgood”.
38. Our supply Sgt is “Sgt Watkins” not “Sugar Daddy”.
39. Not allowed to ask for the day off due to religious purposes, on the basis that the world is going to end, more than once.
As I said, drop into skippy's web site for the rest.....
http://skippyslist.com/list/
Friday, March 27, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Tee shirt sayings.
BEST T-SHIRT SAYINGS
"Filthy Stinking Rich... Well, Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad"
"I Used Up All My Sick Days... So I Called In Dead"
"Happiness Is Seeing Your Mother-in-Law on a Milk Carton"
"Just Give Me Chocolate and Nobody Gets Hurt"
"Learn from Your Parents’ Mistakes... Use Birth Control"
"If God Had Wanted Me to Touch My Toes, He Would Have Put Them on My Knees"
"If You Can Read This...Kiss A Teecher"
"Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up"
"If You Remember the ’60s, You Weren’t Really There"
"Procrastinate Now"
"Rehab Is for Quitters"
(Across a drawing of a skeleton) "Waiting for the Perfect Man"
"My Husband and I Married for Better or Worse...
.... He Couldn’t do Better and I Couldn’t Do Worse"
"The More I Learn About Women, the More I Love My Harley"
"I married Mr. Right. But did his first name HAVE to be "Always"?
"Filthy Stinking Rich... Well, Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad"
"I Used Up All My Sick Days... So I Called In Dead"
"Happiness Is Seeing Your Mother-in-Law on a Milk Carton"
"Just Give Me Chocolate and Nobody Gets Hurt"
"Learn from Your Parents’ Mistakes... Use Birth Control"
"If God Had Wanted Me to Touch My Toes, He Would Have Put Them on My Knees"
"If You Can Read This...Kiss A Teecher"
"Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up"
"If You Remember the ’60s, You Weren’t Really There"
"Procrastinate Now"
"Rehab Is for Quitters"
(Across a drawing of a skeleton) "Waiting for the Perfect Man"
"My Husband and I Married for Better or Worse...
.... He Couldn’t do Better and I Couldn’t Do Worse"
"The More I Learn About Women, the More I Love My Harley"
"I married Mr. Right. But did his first name HAVE to be "Always"?
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Skeptics....
They tell me that there is a US state which is called "The Show Me" state, and they even put that on their licence plates. I wonder...when did sceptisim go out of fashion?
Of course, as anybody that knows me has noticed, I have a remarkable level of sceptisism in my day to day life. I mean, we all know that the kid at MacDonalds really doesn't care if you "have a nice day", and that perhaps Ford really doesn't HAVE a better idea. And that guy on TV, the spokesman for the auto company who is saying "everybody talks about quality cars". As if "quality" has any meaning....a true sceptic fills in the missing words..."everybody talks about the HIGH quality of their cars (does anybody have a LOW quality car? I thought not.) And the luxury, best in its class. (there are classes?...you mean surfeit of luxury don't you? Or did you mean to say LACK of luxury? Neither "quality" or "luxury" have any existance without qualifiers.)
Make no doubt about it...if they had a greater quality than the other guy, or a a softer, cozier, better luxury than the other guy, they would have said it.
Now we have the great global warming debate. Is it a debate still? Well, anything which the world's government has spent (get this) 50 Billion dollars on had better be a topic for debate. The debate is not, of course whether global warming is happening. Of course it is happening. The money is all being spent on how to stop, alter, or live with it. Good work if you can get it. There is a "green" movement which is attracting a lot of money.
So shortly after our eyes glazed over from the Bob Dole movie and shortly before the economic meltdown, we came up with a way to develop carbon credits. This happened in something called the "Kyoto Accord", a conference which has pretty much been ignored, possibly unfairly. I usually say when people ask me about it that "Tell ya what, you bring out your scientists and I'll bring out MY scientists and see if we can agree on anything.
Turns out we all agree on global warming. What we don't agree about is what is causing it? And we REALLY don't agree how to reverse it.
Dr. David Evans wrote this article in the Australian. He is the scientist I am trotting out in favor of the idea that it is all a big shell game and a money grab by special interest groups.... Dr David Evans was a consultant to the Australian Greenhouse Office from 1999 to 2005. http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,25197,24036736-7583,00.html
So, I kind of like Dr. Evans...he would clearly be a great candidate for a "show me state." He states categorically and in writing, and I quote... " There is no evidence to support the idea that carbon emissions cause significant global warming. None. There is plenty of evidence that global warming has occurred, and theory suggests that carbon emissions should raise temperatures (though by how much is hotly disputed) but there are no observations by anyone that implicate carbon emissions as a significant cause of the recent global warming." unquote
I suppose I could, in the interest of balance, bring an article by David Suzuki, but then, Dr. Evans doesn't have a TV show like Dr. Suzuki so maybe it will all balance out.
I am finding that I am applying my "grumpy old man" outlook to more and more things these days.
Anyway, I believe we can all agree on a few things...like perhaps life without smoke in the air would be better, (though the alternative might mean freezing to death) so maybe we may have to agree to a trade off.
I was going to add a paragraph about this latest censorship by the city of Ottawa transit system in which they refused to allow a billboard stating "There is probably no God, so just get on with your life". but I have a hockey game to get to. So TTFN. Stay sceptical....grin!
(I may move this to my "rant blog". But this is not quite as wild a rant as usual...the censorship one will DEFINITELY need to go there though!)
Of course, as anybody that knows me has noticed, I have a remarkable level of sceptisism in my day to day life. I mean, we all know that the kid at MacDonalds really doesn't care if you "have a nice day", and that perhaps Ford really doesn't HAVE a better idea. And that guy on TV, the spokesman for the auto company who is saying "everybody talks about quality cars". As if "quality" has any meaning....a true sceptic fills in the missing words..."everybody talks about the HIGH quality of their cars (does anybody have a LOW quality car? I thought not.) And the luxury, best in its class. (there are classes?...you mean surfeit of luxury don't you? Or did you mean to say LACK of luxury? Neither "quality" or "luxury" have any existance without qualifiers.)
Make no doubt about it...if they had a greater quality than the other guy, or a a softer, cozier, better luxury than the other guy, they would have said it.
Now we have the great global warming debate. Is it a debate still? Well, anything which the world's government has spent (get this) 50 Billion dollars on had better be a topic for debate. The debate is not, of course whether global warming is happening. Of course it is happening. The money is all being spent on how to stop, alter, or live with it. Good work if you can get it. There is a "green" movement which is attracting a lot of money.
So shortly after our eyes glazed over from the Bob Dole movie and shortly before the economic meltdown, we came up with a way to develop carbon credits. This happened in something called the "Kyoto Accord", a conference which has pretty much been ignored, possibly unfairly. I usually say when people ask me about it that "Tell ya what, you bring out your scientists and I'll bring out MY scientists and see if we can agree on anything.
Turns out we all agree on global warming. What we don't agree about is what is causing it? And we REALLY don't agree how to reverse it.
Dr. David Evans wrote this article in the Australian. He is the scientist I am trotting out in favor of the idea that it is all a big shell game and a money grab by special interest groups.... Dr David Evans was a consultant to the Australian Greenhouse Office from 1999 to 2005. http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,25197,24036736-7583,00.html
So, I kind of like Dr. Evans...he would clearly be a great candidate for a "show me state." He states categorically and in writing, and I quote... " There is no evidence to support the idea that carbon emissions cause significant global warming. None. There is plenty of evidence that global warming has occurred, and theory suggests that carbon emissions should raise temperatures (though by how much is hotly disputed) but there are no observations by anyone that implicate carbon emissions as a significant cause of the recent global warming." unquote
I suppose I could, in the interest of balance, bring an article by David Suzuki, but then, Dr. Evans doesn't have a TV show like Dr. Suzuki so maybe it will all balance out.
I am finding that I am applying my "grumpy old man" outlook to more and more things these days.
Anyway, I believe we can all agree on a few things...like perhaps life without smoke in the air would be better, (though the alternative might mean freezing to death) so maybe we may have to agree to a trade off.
I was going to add a paragraph about this latest censorship by the city of Ottawa transit system in which they refused to allow a billboard stating "There is probably no God, so just get on with your life". but I have a hockey game to get to. So TTFN. Stay sceptical....grin!
(I may move this to my "rant blog". But this is not quite as wild a rant as usual...the censorship one will DEFINITELY need to go there though!)
Friday, March 13, 2009
Alien Abduction or something more sinister?
SCOTTSBLUFF, Neb.
By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
- There's no wheeling or dealing at a car dealership in western Nebraska.
Three top executives are missing and so are about 80 cars. Police in Scottsbluff are investigating the removal of the cars from the Legacy Auto Sales dealership and the disappearance of the owner and two managers.
Dealership employee Miranda Cervantes told the Scottsbluff Star-Herald newspaper that she returned to work Tuesday after a day off and found the lot was virtually empty.
Cervantes said 25 to 30 Fords were loaded on trucks and removed Saturday, and about 50 Toyotas were apparently taken away Monday night.
She said the desks of the owner and the two managers had been cleaned out.
Police Capt. Kevin Spencer said the dealership has had financial difficulties
By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
- There's no wheeling or dealing at a car dealership in western Nebraska.
Three top executives are missing and so are about 80 cars. Police in Scottsbluff are investigating the removal of the cars from the Legacy Auto Sales dealership and the disappearance of the owner and two managers.
Dealership employee Miranda Cervantes told the Scottsbluff Star-Herald newspaper that she returned to work Tuesday after a day off and found the lot was virtually empty.
Cervantes said 25 to 30 Fords were loaded on trucks and removed Saturday, and about 50 Toyotas were apparently taken away Monday night.
She said the desks of the owner and the two managers had been cleaned out.
Police Capt. Kevin Spencer said the dealership has had financial difficulties
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Bergen Op Zoom
This is a little exercise in reconciling old pictures with new ones. Trouble is, often my holiday snaps are rarely taken from the same perspectives as the old ones. Case in point, the pic below.
Above are the Canadians who visited in October of 1944. Very pretty little town square. The Canadians had been mauled pretty badly on the trip to get here, this was pretty much all that was left of our armour. Needless to say, we had to hold off a bit, and lick our wounds, we took well over 70% casualties within the last month and had nothing to speak of in the way of serviceable armour. The British called it a "side show".
But the side show opened up the port of Antwerp, allowing everybody to re-arm and get ready to march north through Holland to Nimegan. We were not the only ones to take a lickin' though....the German 7th army, the Adolf Hitler Paratroops, and the German LXXXVIII army (thats the famous 88th army) Corps managed to withdraw in fairly good order, and the Hermann Goring Ersatz regiment proved to not be so ersatz at all. They hung onto Holland through the "Winter of Hunger" (as the Dutch call it) Just to put it all into order, this all was going on while the "Bridge Too Far" was tripping over its long feet, and in a month or two, the Germans will pull a lot of the troops out of Holland and hit the Americans some sixty miles to the South in Bastogne, the famous "Battle of the Bulge". But for now, here, everything is peaceful, mostly because nobody has enough energy to stand up, let alone fight.
The top picture was taken from the bell tower, and here is what the bell tower looked like in June of 2007. Those old stones must have seen the ebb and flow of army after army...they date back almost 900 years. In 1944, they saw the 4th, 6th and 10th infantry brigades from Canada, the 49th and 104 divisions from the US, and the 1st Polish Armed Division drop in for a beer.
The Palais de Justice. The statue is of blind justice with a sword and scales.
This coat of arms even LOOKS old. I have no idea how old.
And I believe you can see the same building in the 1944 print above.
Looks pretty in the sun though.
Above are the Canadians who visited in October of 1944. Very pretty little town square. The Canadians had been mauled pretty badly on the trip to get here, this was pretty much all that was left of our armour. Needless to say, we had to hold off a bit, and lick our wounds, we took well over 70% casualties within the last month and had nothing to speak of in the way of serviceable armour. The British called it a "side show".But the side show opened up the port of Antwerp, allowing everybody to re-arm and get ready to march north through Holland to Nimegan. We were not the only ones to take a lickin' though....the German 7th army, the Adolf Hitler Paratroops, and the German LXXXVIII army (thats the famous 88th army) Corps managed to withdraw in fairly good order, and the Hermann Goring Ersatz regiment proved to not be so ersatz at all. They hung onto Holland through the "Winter of Hunger" (as the Dutch call it) Just to put it all into order, this all was going on while the "Bridge Too Far" was tripping over its long feet, and in a month or two, the Germans will pull a lot of the troops out of Holland and hit the Americans some sixty miles to the South in Bastogne, the famous "Battle of the Bulge". But for now, here, everything is peaceful, mostly because nobody has enough energy to stand up, let alone fight.
The top picture was taken from the bell tower, and here is what the bell tower looked like in June of 2007. Those old stones must have seen the ebb and flow of army after army...they date back almost 900 years. In 1944, they saw the 4th, 6th and 10th infantry brigades from Canada, the 49th and 104 divisions from the US, and the 1st Polish Armed Division drop in for a beer.
The Palais de Justice. The statue is of blind justice with a sword and scales.
This coat of arms even LOOKS old. I have no idea how old.
And I believe you can see the same building in the 1944 print above.
Looks pretty in the sun though.
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
Vanity of Vanities, all is Vanity
Playing with the filters. Here is a picture which to my eye looks like Henri Matis was playing with it. When you click to enlarge it, the beard hairs really look good. 
This one enhances edges. It gives a real three dimentional effect. The green background looks almost textured.
And this was the original. Brenda took it of me to memorialize the dirty face of a working man. Well, I didn't really HAVE a portrait of me for this year.
This one enhances edges. It gives a real three dimentional effect. The green background looks almost textured.
And this was the original. Brenda took it of me to memorialize the dirty face of a working man. Well, I didn't really HAVE a portrait of me for this year. I thought it would be kind of fun to try out different "artistic" effects.
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
Winterlude
With the spiral wheels and fully cut out body, it is hard to remember that this pumkin coach is solid ice! I am using this as a wallpaper on the computer.
This is winterlude from the Laurier Street bridge, looking South. There is maybe an inch of snow on this, the world's longest skating rink! This is the frozen Rideau Canal...it goes far far away, almost eight kilometers. The snow allows people in boots to walk, but the skaters just skate right through it. Over on the side, to the left, are the concession stands where you can get hot pastries, hot chocolate, and hot coffee. Trust me, after skating five miles on this canal, you WANT something hot! The big building on the left is National Defence Headquarters, the Canadian equivalent of the US Pentagon, and quite possibly the ugliest building in Ottawa. (though there are lots of contenders!)
Most of our snow has vanished due to a 2 day thaw. Whats left is a couple of feet of solid ice. Oh, it looks like snow....but don't kid yourself! You can walk on it. And if you never actually got around to shoveling out that driveway, well, you can forget about it now! A jackhammer would be useful.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Winterlude2009 Ice sculptures
These sculptures suffered terribly in a big thaw. We dashed out as quick as we could to get pictures of them before they melted dead away. 
Above, the American entry, "The Spirit of Frost" Very detailed. The artist was cleaning it up as we watched, you can see his tools in the foreground if you click on them to enlarge, and see all the detail.
These two pictures are of Cinderalla's pumpkin coach and four.
This was the Japanese entry, and you can see the artist above. What is remarkable is the armour he is wearing to protect himself from the cold ice, and the chainsaw in the background.
I have another picture of the coach which I will post tomorrow.
This last of the set is the Canadian forces entry. This one was outside, and had NO protection from the weather. Honestly, it looked a lot better before a day of sunshine and well above freezing temperatures got at it, but somehow I seem to think that a battered and worn down military that has been worn down by hot air in Ottawa is somehow appropriate.
These posts will have to do for now...I have been fairly busy posting on my armouring blog. Please visit and see what I have been up to in my day job.
Above, the American entry, "The Spirit of Frost" Very detailed. The artist was cleaning it up as we watched, you can see his tools in the foreground if you click on them to enlarge, and see all the detail.
These two pictures are of Cinderalla's pumpkin coach and four.
This was the Japanese entry, and you can see the artist above. What is remarkable is the armour he is wearing to protect himself from the cold ice, and the chainsaw in the background. I have another picture of the coach which I will post tomorrow.
This last of the set is the Canadian forces entry. This one was outside, and had NO protection from the weather. Honestly, it looked a lot better before a day of sunshine and well above freezing temperatures got at it, but somehow I seem to think that a battered and worn down military that has been worn down by hot air in Ottawa is somehow appropriate.
These posts will have to do for now...I have been fairly busy posting on my armouring blog. Please visit and see what I have been up to in my day job.
http://southtowerarmouringguild.blogspot.com/
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Snow and ice
snow sculptures. Each of these sculptures is at least fifteen feet high.
This one was the overall winner. I can see why!
A whale tail.
The photographer taking the picture of the "last spike".
Looks like poutine. But it is a beaver. Unaccountably mounted on a pedestal.
Sir John A MacDonald. First prime minister of Canada, and the driving force behind building the first railroad across this land.
See the idea inside his mind in the pic below?
Another whale tail. Guess the Camel toe is over on the other side.
Below is the New Brunswick flag, slightly re arranged.
This one was the overall winner. I can see why!
A whale tail. 
The photographer taking the picture of the "last spike".
Looks like poutine. But it is a beaver. Unaccountably mounted on a pedestal.
Sir John A MacDonald. First prime minister of Canada, and the driving force behind building the first railroad across this land.See the idea inside his mind in the pic below?
Another whale tail. Guess the Camel toe is over on the other side.
Below is the New Brunswick flag, slightly re arranged.
Mardi Gras
click on this image to enlarge. I would like to know just how many sit ups it takes to get abs like those! This image is from the Candian news site....Canoe. http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/Microgalleries/home.html
(this post will be removed within the week...just wanted to share the joy of what Canoe has to offer)
Gracyanne Barbosa, queen of the drums' section of Mangueira samba school, performs at the Sambodrome in Rio de Janeiro, Tuesday, Feb. 24, 2009. Click here for a full Mardi Gras gallery. (AP Photo/Natacha Pisarenko)
(this post will be removed within the week...just wanted to share the joy of what Canoe has to offer)
Gracyanne Barbosa, queen of the drums' section of Mangueira samba school, performs at the Sambodrome in Rio de Janeiro, Tuesday, Feb. 24, 2009. Click here for a full Mardi Gras gallery. (AP Photo/Natacha Pisarenko)
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Dear Dad
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to:"DAD"
With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.
"Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and Mom. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tatoos, motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion....Dad, she's pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter."We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone."We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstacy. In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.
Don't worry, Dad."I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself."Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren."
Love,
Your son, John.
P.S. Dad, none of this is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a report card that's in my desk's center drawer. I love you. Call me when it's safe to come home."
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Chuck in Montana
Young Chuck in Montana bought a horse from a farmer for $100.
The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day.
The next day came and the farmer arrived without the horse.
He said, "Sorry, Son, but I have some bad news.
The horse died."
Chuck replied, "Well, then, just give me my money back."
The farmer said, "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."
Chuck said, "Well, then, just bring me the dead horse."
The farmer asked, "What ya goin' to do with him?"
Chuck said, "I'm going to raffle him off."
The farmer said, "You can't raffle off a dead horse."
Chuck said, "Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead."
A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked,
"What happened with that dead horse?"
Chuck said, "I raffled him off.
I told 500 tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $998."
"Didn't anyone complain?" the farmer said.
Chuck said, "Just the guy who won. I gave him his money back."
Chuck grew up and now works for the government.
He's currently figuring out how to give us our money back.
Art
How do people "think" of these things? Maybe thats what happens when you put a fine arts major into a job in a junk yard.
naaaaahhhhhh.
These are all auto rims and hubcaps. How cool is that?
naaaaahhhhhh.
These are all auto rims and hubcaps. How cool is that?
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Winterlude
I guess its a take on the word "interlude". Every February Ottawa takes a chance that they can dodge the mid winter thaw and have a mid winter party. So far, they have batted 3 out of 10, thereabouts. Oh well...the warm weather is nice, though the fella in the picture below clearly does not think so. 
Some of the ice sculptures are really big! 
People come from all over the world to make ice sculptures. I wonder what this Jamaican really thinks of the cold?
Above is the flying pig. My favorite. I think it was finished for about a half hour before the thaw started icicles to form off the big fella's snout!
People come from all over the world to make ice sculptures. I wonder what this Jamaican really thinks of the cold?
Above is the flying pig. My favorite. I think it was finished for about a half hour before the thaw started icicles to form off the big fella's snout! Sunday, February 08, 2009
Christmas Time
Above is Joanne, reading her christmas cards.
Lorne, Joanne and me. Lorne had been out of the country over Christmas, so his daughter made him a traditional Christmas dinner, with gifts under the Christmas tree and carols and turkey and too much wine. At the beginning of February. Lee and Becs finally got their much anticipated "white Christmas", and a good time was had by all. Well, except for Brenda, who was fighting off a flue. This was a coup by Lorne's daughter Laura and his GF.
Thursday, February 05, 2009
The Trocks
Click on the above to enlarge, and see what Brenda describes as some of the ugliest girls to ever put on a tutu.Brenda has a subscription to the ballet. Specifically the National Arts Centre series of advanced booked shows which generally consist of ballets, though they DID include the Japanese "Kodo Drummers" and "Shakespeare's Dog". But without much complaint on my part, I accompany her and Elizabeth to various entertainments. I tend to avoid the highbrow entertainments, but I DO have to admit that a group of individuals working at entertaining me is usually better than shivering my ass off in the stands watching a group of bored overpaid individuals shoving a puck around on the ice. Sometimes. And don't forget I grew up in a family of dancers....albeit Ukrainian Cossack Dancers. So I can appreciate dance...no matter WHAT Brenda says. (I think she is right that I have little to no interest in a true "classical" ballet though. Why she doesn't want to come with me to watch the pole dancers in the club up the road and see some "good" dancing is just as inexplicable, but I digress.)
This time it was the Company of Trocaderos della Monte Carlo. I remember them playing along side Kermit and Miss Piggy as they performed "Swine Lake". The humour has only got raunchier and eathier since that memorable gig. The Trocks are an all male dance troupe who, in fine medieval tradition, play both the male and female roles during their performances. Of course, they pick performances which are really heavy weighted to traditional female roles...such as "Swan Lake", their signature piece, the "dying swan" and an abstract dance piece specfically choreographed for four divas of dance back in the 19th century. So the costumes are outrageously female...pink tutus and pointe shoes. So it was a choice between staying at home playing video games, going out and killing myself on the snowboard slopes, or watching a group of grown men prancing around in tutus and wigs. Since a train wreck was not one of the choices, I stayed to watch the Trocks.
From the Wikipedia....
The dancers portray both male and female (mainly female) roles in a humorous style that mixes send-ups of the clichés of ballet, posing, and physical comedy with "straighter" pieces intended to show off the performers' skill (but still with a certain amount of humour). Part of the comedy is seeing male dancers en travesti performing moves usually reserved to females, such as dancing en pointe.
Part of the humour is the phoney biographies of the actors. A couple are re-printed here, again, from the Wikipedia. They make amusing reading in the interval as you seat yourself and await the start of the show.
-----from the Wikipedia.
Robert Carter
Born in Charleston, South Carolina, USA; he joined the Trocks in November 1995. He portrays Yuri Smirnov and Olga Supphozova.
Yuri ran away from home and joined the Kirov Opera because he thought Borodin was a prescription barbiturate, but he soon discovered that he didn't know his arias from his elbow and decided to become a ballet star instead. Olga made her first public appearance in a KGB lineup under dubious circumstances and after a seven-year-to-life hiatus, she now returns to her adoring fans.
Edgar Cortes
Born in Santiago do Cacem, Portugal; he joined the Trocks in October 2000. He portrays Klaus Youssoupovtu and Maria Gertrudes Clubfoot.
Klaus soared into prominence as the first defector whose leave-taking was accomplished at the virtual insistence of the defectees. Maria (after ballerina Maria Tallchief) is the last one of the great Indian ballerinas, who began her training with the Wounded Knee Ballet but was subsequently banned for use of traditional Indian weaponry.
Robert Carter
Born in Charleston, South Carolina, USA; he joined the Trocks in November 1995. He portrays Yuri Smirnov and Olga Supphozova.
Yuri ran away from home and joined the Kirov Opera because he thought Borodin was a prescription barbiturate, but he soon discovered that he didn't know his arias from his elbow and decided to become a ballet star instead. Olga made her first public appearance in a KGB lineup under dubious circumstances and after a seven-year-to-life hiatus, she now returns to her adoring fans.
Edgar Cortes
Born in Santiago do Cacem, Portugal; he joined the Trocks in October 2000. He portrays Klaus Youssoupovtu and Maria Gertrudes Clubfoot.
Klaus soared into prominence as the first defector whose leave-taking was accomplished at the virtual insistence of the defectees. Maria (after ballerina Maria Tallchief) is the last one of the great Indian ballerinas, who began her training with the Wounded Knee Ballet but was subsequently banned for use of traditional Indian weaponry.
Here is a good site you might like to check out...it has clips of the actors.
Otherwise, I would say, "Get off the computer and get shoveling that snow!"
http://www.trockstour.co.uk/ (Brenda says this site shows some really ugly women!) Me, I just want to know how they did that web site because it is the best example of scripting I have ever seen!
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
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