Sunday, May 21, 2006

Texas Bix Bender's Guide to Life

This is culled from my archives..... and it is still as good as it ever wuz....grin! Now if only I could follow the last one!!!

> Don't name a pig you plan to eat.>

> Your fences need to be horse high, pig tight, and bull strong.>

> Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.>

> Keep skunks and bankers and Lawyers at a distance.>

> Life is simpler when you plough around the stump.>

> A bumblebee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.>

> Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.>

> Meanness don't jest happen overnight.>

> Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads!>

> Don't sell your mule to buy a plow.>

> Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.>

> It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.>

> You cannot unsay a cruel word.>

> Every path has a few puddles.>

> When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.>

> The best sermons are lived, not preached.>

> Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.>

> Don't squat down with your spurs on.>

> Don't judge people by their relatives.>

> Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.>

> Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.>

> Don't interfere with something that ain't bothering' you none.>

> It's better to be a has-been than a never-was.>

> The easiest way to eat crow is while it's still warm. The colder it gets, the harder it is to swaller.>

> If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.>

> If it don't seem like it's worth the effort, it probably ain't.>

> It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.>

> Sometimes you get and sometimes you get got.>

> The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with watches you shave his face in the mirror every morning.>

> If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.>

> Don't worry about bitin' off more'n you can chew; your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.>

> Only cows know why they stampede.>

> Always drink upstream from the herd.>

> If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there with ya.>

> Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.>

> Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.>

> You can't tell how good a man or a watermelon is 'till they get thumped'.>

> Never, never, miss a good opportunity to shut up!>

1 comment:

Jennifer said...

Those are all great. As someone who grew up on a farm, and became a vegan by age 10, I can attest to the truth of #1.

:0)