Happy New Year!
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Happy New Year!
Saturday, December 30, 2006
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Sunday, December 24, 2006
Friday, December 22, 2006
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
And I can't post pictures this morning. Right...beta is better. Right. grrrrrr.
Sunday, December 03, 2006
Then the sump pump alarm goes off. Right. Basement is flooding from all this rain. Fine....I send up several hundred pails of water up the hatch in the floor, which gets dumped down the drain. Field calls from the security monitoring people, finally disconnect the damned thing. Security people call because it is disconnected. Leave me alone to splash in this water darn it!
Barbeque a lovely chicken. Bring in the stuff that is cooked because I can't wait any longer to eat...I am starved! Gorgeous meal by candlelight...delightful company. Oh crap...the rest of the chicken is still cooking! Yup, Bill, you burned the chicken! First bird I have burned, for, like, ever! Well, it was hard to see how it was doing in the dark....its all silouettes against the flames. Thats my story...I am sticking to it.
After dinner, was thinking about a nap. No such luck. Look down into the basement. Right, its about 15 centimeters deep. Not over my boot tops, but I'll have to do something right? Can't dump any more down the drain....the poor septic system can't take too much of that. So I rig a siphon from a garbage can and an old garden hose. Hose keeps getting stopped up with random bits of wood and flotsam, but generally it works.
I barely keep even with the incoming water. Sooner or later I figure, I will have to quit. Don't know how much damage will happen if I let it flood much higher though. Well, just keep handing those pails of water up to Brenda. Every once in a while, I would crawl out of that hole and walk around outside a bit, watching the ice gradually build up on things. You can tell the people who have home generators...they are the ones with the Christmas lights on so bright! I don't know why it is, but I don't begrudge anybody with the forethought to purchase a generator, but for some reason I don't understand, I just want to throw a rock through my neighbour's window for showing off those christmas lights!
Then the power went back on and things went back to normal.
The joys of home ownership.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat.
Marcus Brigstocke at the Assembly Rooms
Cats have nine lives. Which makes them ideal for experimentation.
The right to bear arms is slightly less ludicrous than the right to arm bears.
Chris Addison at the Pleasance
My dad is Irish and my mum is Iranian, which meant that we spent most of our family holidays in Customs.
Patrick Monahan at the Gilded Balloon
My parents are from Glasgow which means they ' re incredibly hard, but I was never smacked as a child... well maybe one or two grams to get me to sleep at night.
Susan Murray at the Underbelly
Is it fair to say that there ' d be less litter in Britain if blind people were given pointed sticks?
Adam Bloom at the Pleasance
My mum and dad are Scottish but they moved down to Wolverhampton when I was two, ' cause they wanted me to sound like a tw*t.
Susan Murray at the Underbelly
You have to remember all the trivia that your girlfriend tells you, because eventually you get tested. She ' ll go: "What ' s my favourite flower?" And you murmur to yourself: "Sh*t, I wasn ' t listening... Self-raising?"
Addy Van-Der-Borgh at the Assembly Rooms
I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was "Shout For Help".
Mark Watson, Rhod Gilbert at the Tron
I went out with an Irish Catholic. Very frustrating. You can take the Girl out of Cork ...
Markus Birdman at the Pod Deco
Got a phone call today to do a gig at a fire station. Went along. Turned out it was a bloody hoax.
Adrian Poynton at the Pleasance
Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.
Demetri Martin at the Assembly Rooms
I like to go into the Body Shop and shout out really loud "I ' ve already got one!"
Norman Lovett at The Stand
It ' s easy to distract fat people. It ' s a piece of cake.
Chris Addison at the Pleasance
I enjoy using the comedy technique of self-deprecation - but I ' m not very good at it.
Arnold Brown at The Stand
If you ' re being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They ' re trained for that.
Milton Jones at the Underbelly
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
These several airy unnamed messengers
Do daily cram my inbox bursting full;
And with a battery of promises (Of manhood's lengthening, safe and natural;
Of sites whereat strange couplings may be seen,
Or beauties nubile as the law allows;
Of meetings with old schoolmates,
none of whom I've spared a brace of thoughts for these ten years)
Make sifting out my correspondences
A passing trial.
O, take care, my friends!
The rambling jest you send has like been seen Ten times,
forwarded by some jackanapes;
And sooth, I'll not contribute to a chain
But risk the lapse in fortunes an I don't.
Of all conveniences, these are most meet:
The Bulk folder,
_________________Please help support BreakTheChain.org Visit the Chain-Breaker's Gift Shop
Saturday, November 25, 2006
Carbon fiber. Not just for Star Trek anymore!
It's light, ten times stronger than steel, and is now used to strengthen your favorite washroom. "You know how fast a little fiber can make you go," claims the manufacturer. "Finally, a high performance, race ready composite toilet seat."
Can you say, "pimp my ride"? The seat is hand-layered carbon fiber molded around a foam core using 550,000 psi tensile carbon fiber, and fits standard household toilets. We predict this will be the recipient of a SEMA new product award and our own praised "POS Product" award this November.
For more information, contact Dynamic Composites in Alberta Canada at (780) 435-0619 or email firstname.lastname@example.org. Pimp your crapper for just $229 US.
Friday, November 24, 2006
The robe has a nice wool back covering that I was sort of hoping to keep. There is no water marks or anything to indicate the thing had ever got wet, so the problem is purely that of high humidity for too long.
Anybody have any idea how to get rid of the musty odor? I would think that washing it in water with detergent, borax and detol might cause the wool to shrink. And I don't know if detol kills mold. The detol odor is not really all that nice a replacement odor come to think of it. Vinegar maybe? Gasoline? Its not something you do in the winter time, or anytime static can build up, but I have washed leather and hides in naptha in the past. Brenda suggest I remove the backing regardless...and I am inclined to go along with that idea except for the problem that I will have to sew something back on afterwards. If I can get away without all that sewing, I would be happier.
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Well, the world is now ready for, get this....Vibrating Soap! Just when you thought it was safe to drop the soap in the shower, along comes THIS product! http://www.crazyaboutgadgets.com/detail.asp?ID=312
Yup...its real. I mean, how fat and lazy do you have to be to need a soap that vibrates in order to bring up a lather! And it is available in three delicious colours...red blue and (of course) pink! MMMMMM! I cannot TELL you how hard it is to not make double entendre jokes about this product....resisting....resisting.....oh too late... MMMMMMM Pink, my favorite!
And guess what..this product is so popular it is sold out. For now! Well, thats just great! I guess I'll just have to check out one of the other items on the site...a SHOWER TAP Radio! For that karioki effect I guess! And a starfish LCD bath alarm. Just in case you run a bath for baby, and don't dare to test the temp with your hand, you can throw in the BIG BLUE STARFISH! Hey fish....maybe you can find Nemo for me! I could keep him in my "Sun Jar". A sealer jar which you leave out in the sunlight during the day, and it stores the sun in it all night. Good stuff, I'll keep it beside my JellyFish mood lamp. (Hmmmm...I detect a theme here!)
So no kidding...go check out this site...and remember, there are only 35 shopping days before Christmas!
Friday, November 17, 2006
Ainslie's younger brother eventually forged his father's signature, and went to war, came back, had a long and excellent career in the public service, and is now a resident of the veterans home here in Ottawa. Through his Alzheimer's, he quoted this poem written by his older brother to a citizen reporter, Kelley Egan. Thank you Mr. Egan for salvaging this piece of doggrel for us. Doggrel it may be, but it IS heartfelt, and illuminates an instant of history.
We sent you Maple leaves today
To strew upon your grave
'Tis little, to be sure, and yet
What matter what we gave
There are no words to tell our love
For strong Canadian sons.
No words to thank those stalwart men
Who traded games for guns.
No gifts to pay the debt we owe,
For Death denies remittance
And all our tribute, all our wealth
Were but a puny pittance.
But there are thoughts more deep than death
When hearts are fraught with woe,
The heart of Canada will call
And reach to where you go.
You were so brave, so young, so true;
You had to keep the trust,
For brave young hearts had died before.
You only thought it just.
The rich green fields will miss you, men,
Now that you choose to stay:
And forests, hills and woodland streams
Will weep for many a day.
Now English pines will shelter you
And whisper English grief,
And we who cannot go, we send
A precious maple leaf.
by Ainslie Kerr, August 1942
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Saturday, November 11, 2006
In a slightly desperate attempt to cross the Albert Canal in their big push through France and Belgium in late '44, the Galgary Highlanders ran into some serious opposition in the form of a well organized counter attack. The newly promoted Lance Corporal William Fedun provided covering fire for his platoon, enabling them to get back across the canal safely. He didn't make it, but his efforts enabled many others to get away so they could fight again another day. He got a medal for that, and they named me after...a hero! Well well!
The lower pic is a photo from the "Book of Rememberance" which is in a chapel in the centre tower (the "Peace Tower") on Parliament Hill. Click on the pictures to enlarge.
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Dear Tech Support:Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0.
I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity.
Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, GOLF 7.5, and Racing 3.6.I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications.
I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the ‘uninstall’ doesn't work on Wife 1.0.
Please help!Thanks,Troubled User.....
REPLY:Dear Troubled User:This is a very common problem that men complain about.Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program.
Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!!
It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this.
Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony/Child Support.
I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation.
I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE!
Because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0comes with several support programs, such asClean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5! and Do Bills 4.2.However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program
Nag Nag9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software.
I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0!
WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3.
This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause rreversible damage to the operating system!
Best of luck,Tech Support