Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Vassar Clemens is Dead!

Oh man! I loved that guy! Fiddle vituoso, played with Earl Sgruggs and Lester Flatt.

http://www.usatoday.com/life/people/2005-08-16-clements-obit_x.htm?POE=LIFISVA

I first saw him on an episode of the Beverly Hillbillies. And again, as the the fiddle playing cousin at the Shady Rest Hotel.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Kill the spammer, kill the spammer!

Blogger may not be long for the world if these spammers get their way!

http://www.blogger.com/profile/6595660

is a source of a log of it. I wonder how to complain about profile 6595660

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Court room antics.

Well, it ain't Judge Judy! Spent the day in court trying to find out what the "system" is going to do with my prodigal brother. (Seems he slept through his court date, and lost his paperwork.) Its time to get him off the streets. He swears he is not ill...but my mileage may differ. There is still a very strong bias against mental illness in our society...every where I look there is another charity auction for the Children's Hospital, but never EVER have I seen a charity auction for the Royal Ottawa [mental] Hospital. Ahh...but that is a subject for another rant later on. Right now, I am still amazed at the antics of the court room!

Showed up at 7:30, to try and get some information about what and where. Lots of people, lots of courtrooms. Found the courtroom where the bail hearings were to be held. fortunately only one courtroom for bail hearings today so I got the right one first time. The crown prosecuter, obviously giving me the brush off was "on form" as the meanest dinosaur in the valley. Her behavior at the time struck me as interesting...and it took me a week to figure it out. The brusque manner, the brush off made sense, as did her unwillingness to talk to a friend of the guy in the dock. Her statement that "I don't have the time to talk to you...you talk to Mr. Lxxxxx, he is the defense attourney. Then she proceeds to spend the next 5 minutes or so exclaiming over a clerk's shoes and wondering where she got them! Didn't have time indeed! I suppose she figured I was like most families of perps and wanted an "in" to the prosecutor. I can understand that. Then, when I got this incredibly busy defense attourney to listen to me, he was agast that my bro had NO representation, and NO brief on him at all! So he broke into the "shoe" conversation to get his brief. Oh right, well, here you are...she says, as she pulls out the paperwork to give to the defense. Mr. Lxxxxx had almost 3 minutes to read the brief before showtime! This was not enough, though he DID get a chance to visit my Bro instead of getting his lunch.
Needless to say, we hung about until about 3 in the afternoon, to hear the defense explain that he needed the case to be held over until the next day so that he could prepare a proper brief. So the bro spends another night in cells because the Prosecuting Attourney was more interested in the clerk's shoes than in getting the correct paperwork to the defense.
Perhaps I am being needlessly harsh...because certainly once showtime started, the court was a hive of activity. Two clerks in full robes were bustling about being very officious, moving files about, two court reporters recording every utterance....two Crown Prosecuters, one Provincial, one Federal were busy sorting out federal and provincial responsiblities. Finding court dates and courtroom "slots" . It was kind of neat...they were speaking in code all the time! Imagine the poor kid wearing the hoodie standing behind the thick glass in the dock listening to this: This is John Smith, he is here under allegations of section 41 subsection 3, 7 and 19. "Does he have a form 1?" No, he doens't need one, He has a federal 31a. "Ahh, well, does the federal prosecuter have the 39w? Yes, good then. "I'll need a copy of that please" Here you go then. Thank You....a slot is available on Tuesday, 2:30 PM 14 September Is there a surety here? Good...Mr John Smith, you are released in custody of your grandmother, and you will appear in courtroom 13 on 14 September 2005. If you fail to appear, you will personally laible for 300 dollars bail and your grandmother will be liable for 300 dollars bail. Do you understand? The poor yob in the dock who hasn't understood a word up until this point understands "Bail", "Grandmother" and "release". Yes Your Worship, he says, and the cop with no gun takes him away and cuffs him again.
That was a week ago, and I am still shaking my head!

Saturday, August 20, 2005

singing the blues

Ahhh...in the traditon of stealing only from the best, this was forwarded to me.

Subject: Fw: HOW TO PLAY & SING THE BLUES ----- HOW TO PLAY& SING THE BLUES
1. Most Blues begin with: "Woke up this morning..."
2. "I got a good woman" is a bad way to begin the Blues unless you sticksomething nasty in the next line like "I got a good woman with themeanest face in town."
3. The Blues is simple. After you get the first line right, repeat it. Thenfind something that rhymes, sort of: "Got a good woman with the meanest facein town. Yes, I got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Got teethlike Margaret Thatcher, and she weigh 500 pound."
4. The Blues is not about choice. You stuck in a ditch, you stuck in aditch. There ain't no way out.
5. Blues cars: Chevys, Fords, Cadillacs and broken-down trucks. Blues don'ttravel in Volvos, BMWs, or SUVs. Most Blues transportation is a Greyhoundbus or a southbound train. Jet aircraft and state-sponsored motor poolsain't even in the running. Walkin' plays a major part in the blueslifestyle. So does fixin' to die.
6. Teenagers can't sing the Blues. They ain't fixin' to die yet. Adults singthe Blues. In Blues, "adulthood" means being old enough to get the electricchair if you shoot a man in Memphis.
7. Blues can take place in New York City but not in Hawaii or anyplace inCanada. Hard times in Minneapolis or Seattle is probably just clinicaldepression. Chicago, St. Louis, and Kansas City are still great places tohave the Blues. You cannot have the blues anyplace that don't get rain.
8. A man with male pattern baldness ain't the Blues. A woman with malepattern baldness is. Breaking your leg 'cause you were skiing is not theblues. Breaking your leg 'cause a alligator be chomping on it is.
9. You can't have no Blues in a office or a shopping mall. The lighting iswrong. Go out to the parking lot or sit by the dumpster.10. Good places for the Blues:a. Highwayb. Jailhousec. Empty bedd. Bottom of a whiskey glassBad places for the Blues:a. Nordstrom'sb. Gallery openingsc. Ivy League collegesd. Golf courses
11. No one will believe it's the Blues if you wear a suit, 'less you happen to be an old ethnic person, and you slept in it.
12. Do you have the right to sing the Blues? Yes, if:
a. You older than dirt
b. You blind
c. You shot a man in Memphis
d. You can't be satisfied
No, if:
a. You have all your teethb. You were once blind but now can see
c. The man in Memphis lived
d. You have a 401K or trust fund
13. Blues is not a matter of color. It's a matter of bad luck. Tiger Woodscannot sing the blues. Sonny Liston could. Ugly white people also got aleg up on the blues.
14. If you ask for water and your darlin' give you gasoline, it's the Blues.Other acceptable Blues beverages are:
a. Cheap wine
b. Whiskey or bourbon
c. Muddy water
d. Nasty black coffee
The following are NOT Blues beverages:
a. Perrier
b. Chardonnay
c. Snapple
d. Slim Fast
15. If death occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it's a Blues death.Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is another Blues way to die. So isthe electric chair, substance abuse and dying lonely on a broken-down cot.You can't have a Blues death if you die during a tennis match or whilegetting liposuction.
16. Some Blues names for women:
a. Sadie
b. Big Mama
c. Bessie
d. Fat River Dumpling
17. Some Blues names for men:a. Joe
b. Willie
c. Little Willie
d. Big Willie
18. Persons with names like Amber, Jennifer, Tiffany, Debbie, and Heathercan't sing the Blues no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis.
19. Make your own Blues name Starter Kit:
a. Name of physical infirmity (Blind, Cripple, Lame, etc.)
b. First name (see above) plus name of fruit (Lemon, Lime, etc..)
c. Last name of President (Jefferson, Johnson, Fillmore, etc.) Examples:
Blind Lime Jefferson, Jackleg Lemon Johnson.
20. No matter how tragic your life, if you own a computer you cannot singthe blues

Another weekend, another lost week!

It took me all week to mow that darned lawn! Ah well, now I know that there are no rocks and stones which can damage a ride-on. But what can you do when you come home to find an acre of grass, burrdocks, and thistles waist high! I rented the neatest tool...its a five horsepower whipper snipper with a blade on it! Slow cutting....I have an antique sythe in the showroom which was almost as fast, except of course you have to spend half your day sharpening the blessed thing!

Hey now it is raining, I can have a fire in the fire pit! Oh right...didn't get a burn permit....darn!

Found my little brother...he called me Monday...needed some help. Turned out he needed a LOT of help. Well, you can pick your friends but you can't pick your relatives. A lot of the week seemed to be taken up with sitting in courthouses, and talking with lawyers and social workers. Bloody hell!

And there seems to be a problem with my Eudora email program...possibly not interacting properly with my Norton Antivirus. Not sure...NAV seems to be fine, scans well, the problem doesn't go away when I turn NAV off. I think I shall remove it from the computer totally. See if that helps. I can always re-install. I have heard that it is difficult to remove NAV from a 'puter...it puts its tenetacles into every little area. I figured I would blog a bit until I get the nerve to to the uninstall!

Well, it could be worse. Some of the lost souls in the courthouse were pretty heart wrenching. "Dude...its 28 degrees C out there! (94 degrees Farenheit!) Why are you wearing a hoodie and a watch cap? And you in the leather jacket...you think the judge is going to be impressed with the leather jacket? And girl, if you have to wear the pretty sun dress to make people think you just misplaced your friends the tin woodsman and scarecrow, perhaps you should wear a pretty little shawl to cover the tatoo "Born to FUCK" across your pretty shoulders. It really isn't fooling people!

The lines between low level criminal activity and mental illness seem to blur when you are in bail court at 9 in the morning...and perhaps people with strong opinions [of any kind] might do well to spend some time there...

Sunday, August 14, 2005

A variant of the who's on first routine....

I wish I had thought of this one. I could not find out Hu wrote it, but if somebody knows, I'll buy them a Kofi.

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The main man in China!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you, Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you, or will you not, tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he's dead in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?Condi: No, sir.
George: Look Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars.

Friday, August 12, 2005

Comment Spam!!

Wow, I feel blessed! Got my first "comment spam". A cut and paste without any relationship to the post whatsoever. Neat!

Thursday, August 11, 2005

New course dates! woo hoo!

Jean dropped in yesterday to discuss the new Chivalrous Sword Handling courses at Algonquin for the fall. He does not want to hang about until ten o'clock...who can blame him! He has to get up early to do his day jobs. On Wednesdays, we cannot start until 8 o'clock,and I refuse to go all the way into Ottawa for a one hour class. (I mean, you figure last spring with 60 cent a liter gas, it was costing me ten bucks to go from Metcalfe to west end Ottawa and back, and this fall, with gas at 95 cents, that would be 12 to 15 bucks in fuel alone to teach a one hour class. Not to mention a half hour on winter roads each way. it is just not worth the trouble to do a one hour class! So, we have decided pretty much to drop Wednesday evenings for the fall, and do the classes on Friday. One small glitch though....how do we teach two 8 week classes back to back starting 16 September? I'll see if anybody wants to start it a week early, then we will be able to end them 23 December.
(And here I was hoping to do it all Wednesday,and get my Fridays off....for a change)
So, drop Wednesdays like, totally, and two back to back courses on Friday.
The winter and spring months, no problems. Our Fridays will be clear, and we will be teaching Mondays and Wednesdays.
Really looking forward to it.

Bill

Friday, August 05, 2005

Pirates and global warming...

I always knew there was a correlation between pirates and global warming. Here is the complete explanation....

Makes as much sense as teaching that God created the world in 6 days....

http://www.venganza.org/index.htm

This is an open letter to the Kansas City School Board, asking them to teach the theory that it was a giant floating spagetti monster that created the world. The logical reply is that not enough people are in this faith to take it seriously AS a faith, so they want 10 million people to stand up for this belief and demand that it be taught along side creationism.

They might get it. When Conservative premier Stockwell Day was asked if he wished to open the debate on abortion (after we had firmly slammed it shut after what...25 years!), he said, "Well, if there are enough people who want me to address the issue, I will do it". Wrong answer Stockwell! The next question was, "Well, how many people would it take to sign a petition for you to do it" Like a fool, he said, "I guess if a hundred thousand people want me to take up this issue, I will do it." Really, Stock, a hundred thousand? Nothing less? "Okay, if ten thousand people wanted me to do it, I would". That fine....so what do you suppose happened?

Oh sure, ten thousand people signed a petition for the Federal Government to re-open the abortion issue, but more than a hundred thousand people signed petitions to get him to change his name from Stockwell Day to Doris Day. The power of ridicule!

We notice these days that Stockwell Day is no longer a force in Federal politics.

Monday, August 01, 2005

Harry Potter...

Can't help it...just read the book. Am I the only one who has figured out the truth yet? I used to wonder if Dumbldore was really Voldemert in disguise (think about it, ever see them both in the same room together?) however the disgusting events which led to the assumption of the cat lady to the head mistresses chair seem to have put paid to the idea....no matter how titilating that would have been. Actually, I have a new theory. You see, that scar that Harry has on his forehead...thats one of Voldemort's horcruxes. Perfect timing....kill the parents, leave a piece of the old soul right there where no body would ever suspect. It would explain why it hurts when the big V is around, and also why Harry could speak parceltoungue...he has a lot of V in him! Also, the hat had trouble...wanted to put him into Slytheryn at first didn't it? The hat comes down over the scar, so the immediate thing is to assign him to Sly house. But the hat has second thoughts. This is unusual for a hat.... and puts HP into Griffindor. And its hard to confuse a hat! Like does this happen often?
Makes more sense than the idea that Voldemort couldn't kill Harry because in actual fact, he was Harry's father. But this is probably too biblical for JKR...{And Lo, Harry's parents could not find room at the inn....}
I can't wait for the tenth book..."There's Something about Harry".
Now if I could just figure out who R A B would be. Reuben Albus Bumbledore....naaah.