Tuesday, April 17, 2007

The Arcata Eye Police Blotter

Arcata California, like many small cities, has its own neswpaper, and in that newspaper they publish the police log. It seems that Arcata police have a lot of time on their hands, and are also remarkably literate. Their police log is a remarkable document.

Here is a sample....

Fabric worshippers donate frightful fridgeful o' poo – February 27, 2007
10:19 p.m. A couple who live in a red car on Villa Way got into a fight on a nearby resident’s porch. She wore a hoody that matched their mobile residence; he, conforming to the unwritten law of nighttime male-female clashes, was shirtless, and that probably helped the taser deliver an unencumbered jolt. [More]

Obnoxious + oblivious = loud – Jan. 2, 2007
11:31 p.m. Sounds of laughing and screaming gave way to those of a female wailing in pain on Union Street. At first no one came to the door (we have no evidence whatsoever – none – that the usual contraband dope-fiend devices were being frantically secreted away with a cop at the door), but eventually two dudes explained that someone’s girlfriend got all aggro when someone tipped something over, and again, we have zero ev that it was a bong. [More]

read more at http://www.arcataeye.com/index.php?module=pagesetter&tid=2&topic=7

Makes you want to question the decision to move to the "left coast".

5 comments:

coastalcutie2000 said...

Ahhh, my dear friend, this would be a hilarious posting if it weren't a true one...

I live about 80 miles from Arcata, and go there once in a while when I want a deal on a good used text book or fancy beads... It is basically Berkeley North! A LOT of college students, a LOT of, well, um Unusual folks, many of them living in the square in the middle of town. It is convenient to live in the square~~~ there is a whole block of bars on one side of the plaza!!! Don't have to stumble far to get "home."

Never heard of the Arcata Eye! Guess I will have to look for that publication the next time I am in that town, looking for old record albums and fancy soap!

Thanks for the laugh!
PCM

STAG said...

I'd rather smile than frown...uses fewer muscles they tell me! I am so flattered you read my blog, and am so glad you enjoy that quirky sense of humour which aflicts the Stag household.

Jennifer said...

When I wrote for our local town’s newspaper back in college, it was my job to write up the police reports once a week. I was never this creative.

oregoncelticlady said...

*looks up* hey, hi PCM!!!! :-)

I LOVE Arcata! More stonerrs than Eureka!!! *laugh* Actually, I think if you are a stoner under 30, you live in Arcata and if you WERE a stoner and over 40, you live in Eureka!

In all fairness, Arcata has a lovely town square with great little boutiques and a fabulous Saturday market!

AND the "Left Coast" is AWESOME!!!!!

Anonymous said...

hello arcata, my family and i are moving to arcata. we live in the midwest and are tired of the bull shit we have to go through just because we smoke. we have an rv that we will be living in until we get settled.our son is 19 and he plans on enrolling hsu.we also have a 13 year old daughter, she is in 7th grade. we have a imcome from my husbands disabilty check from the rail road. we plan on getting jobs. we will be leaving in november. see all you soon!