Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Stay Thirsty My Friends

He has amassed an amazingly large DVD collection, and has never once alphabetised it.

People hang on his every word. Even the prepositions.

Police often question him, just because they find him interesting.

Enemies list him as their emergency contact.

He’s a lover… Not a fighter. But he’s also a fighter, so don’t get any ideas.

At a bachelorette auction, he brought in over 13 million euros, under the table.

At the Running of the Bulls, he has ridden the lead bull.

If he were to punch you in the face, you’d have to fight off the urge to thank him.

The pheromones he secretes affect people miles away… in a slight, but measurable way.

He is the life of parties he has never attended.

He once had an awkward moment, just to see how it feels.

He speaks fluent French. In Russian.

His legend precedes him, as lightning precedes thunder.

His personality is so magnetic, he is unable to carry credit cards.

If he were to mail a letter without postage, it would arrive with apologies from the post office.

When he goes for a swim, dolphins compete for the privilege of swimming near him.

Years ago, he created a city out of blocks. Today over 600,000 people live and work there.

(This pile of self serving drivel is shamelessly ripped off from


Judy said...

You mean it's not true?!! I am devastated!

hidden_sparrow said...

Just for that...





Pacific College Mom said...


Pacific College Mom said...

Come look at my latest creation, dear sir, and tell me how to proceed.Thank you very much for your input!

Middle Child said...

This is so brilliant - haven't visited for a while but well worth it this time...I have to say your beard even outdoes the one my husband had for our 35 years together - he was very proud of that beard as well -