Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Easter Eggs Are Satan's Testicals!

(important information found on the website. http://www.landoverbaptist.org/

Are Your Children Playing With Lucifer's Testicles?The Truth About Easter Eggs

(Recommended for Parents of Christian Children ages 4-22)
-by Dr. Daniel Cameroon

List Price: $18.95Our Price: $27.99
You Save: Nothing. (Only Jesus Saves!)
Availability: Usually ships within 24 hours (if Jesus wants it to) from Landover Baptist Church in Freehold, Iowa:

Are Your Children Playing With Lucifer's Testicles? is a Bible based book for Christian parents who by lack of faith can't afford to send their children to a decent Christian school. Their precious youngsters are infected by the secular filth and lies being taught by unsaved teachers in America's public school system. The book teaches parents how to easily explain to their children that Easter (as it is celebrated by the Unsaved) has absolutely nothing to do with Jesus Christ but is actually a holiday celebrating lewd and sexually explicit pagan ritual.

Are Your Children Playing With Lucifer's Testicles? (The Truth About Easter Eggs) is a wonderfully informative and well-researched Christian book which consolidates a 2-month Adult Remedial Sunday School series into two-hundred exciting and easy to read pages along with memorable illustrations. Are Your Children Playing With Lucifer's Testicles? or "PWLT" as the book is now referred to in the Southern Baptist Sunday School Teachers catalogue takes the reader on an unforgettable journey that traces the pagan (Satanic) origins of secular (Satanic) Easter, with a specific focus on the origin of "Easter Eggs."

Hardcover 1st Edition (April 2009)
Remedial Christian Parenting Series - Picture Learning Book;
ISBN: 6624AM7-B6227;
Dimensions (in inches): 0.7 x 11.03 x 11.02 landoverbaptizon.com - ZONDERVAN PUBLISHERS CHRISTIAN BOOK OF THE MONTH!

- Sales Rank: 1 Avg.
Customer Rating: Number of Reviews: 152,287 s of fertility.

"It's not that difficult to understand," says Author/Creation Scientist, Dr. Daniel Cameroon. "In the old days, deluded pagans would gather round and hump like bunnies on Easter Sunday because they thought it would make their tomatoes grow faster." Dr. Cameroon explains that it doesn't matter what god or idol the Pagans were humping under on Easter Sunday, because any god other than "Jesus" is "Satan." Dr. Cameroon dedicates four chapters in the book to Easter Eggs. "Easter Eggs are one of the wiliest tools of the Devil," he says. "Pagan kids didn't have anything to do on Easter Sunday because their mommies and daddies were stuck in a false temple all day, naked and writhing around with their neighbors in Satanic orgies of the flesh. You see, parents had to come up with a way to occupy their children while they were away from home, praying and fornicating under the altar of Satan. And since they didn't have babysitters back then, they gave their kids eggs to play with and sometimes paint," he says. "But the reason they chose eggs had nothing to do with any sort of fertility or fertilizers (as some misguided Christian historians would have you believe). Nope, it was because of Lucifer's testicles! Glory to God! And I won't say a word more about it! I don't want to ruin the book for you!"

God Fearing Fundamentalist Baptist Customers who bought this book also bought:

Daddy? Why Did Jesus Kill Grandma? by Pastor Deacon Fred.

The Little Jew: "Levi, The Dancing Cockroach" by Gloria Steinhunt

Donkeys Can Talk, People Can Fly, and a Man Named Jesus Lives Up in the Sky! by Pastor Deacon Fred


Buffalo said...

Okay. I admit it. You had me going for a minute.

(Word verification is "unchew."

STAG said...

Oh, I am just as hard on the Catholics.....grin!

Old man Constantine has a lot to answer for.

Pacific College Mom said...

yeah, that was a bit much to deal with, no matter what your religious zeal...