Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Kuntry Kabbie Chats!

I always considered cab drivers to be the salt of the earth. I mean, they get you home, they put up with you when you are drunk, unlike yo momma, they's always there! I have several favorite taxi cab blogs....this is one of the best. He is the owner of a small "country" cab company, and his stories tend to be irreverent, off the wall, and VERY earthy. This is a sample of one of his posts.

Australians have always been good at giving people nicknames. Anyone with red hair is called bluey, we halve the surname and add an "o" onto their surnames, Simmo, Wilko etc.But the best ones are usually work related.
Opium.........A slow working dope
Truck inspectors with portable weighing machines are called mermaids..... cunts with scales.
SHOWBAGS: only worth two bob, full of rubbish and you have to carry him everywhere.
THE SHAH: been everywhere but nobody wants him.
MILKBOTTLES: you always find him full on the front doorstep in the morning.
HARPIC: clean round the bend.
BLISTERS: shows up after the work is done.
THE JUDGE: always sitting on a case.
CYCLONE: a slow moving depression.
LONDON FOG: never lifts.
MIRROR: always saying "I'll look into it".
JUNGLE: thick, green and dense.
THROMBOSIS: a bloody clot who interferes with the functioning of the system
ASIO:Everything is prefaced with "Don't tell anybody, but... "
All Bran:At meetings always trying to pass a motion
Appendix: Expensive to take out
Bondi: Because he's far from ManlyBootlace: Always tied up
Brown Sugar: Coarse and unrefined
Budget: Constantly wants to borrow your car
Carpet: At her best when laid
Castrol: Always ready to pass on the good oil
Cattle Truck: Full of bullshit
Chicken Lips: Has a "fowl" mouth
Cider: His favourite expression is "She's apples"
Beer Bottle: Empty from the neck up
The one that I like the best is the footballer who they called The Pope....he wouldn't pass the pill.

What's your favourite????

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