Clever Ads

I suppose they didn't "have" to roll down the sides, but how could the driver resist?

Those crazy North Dakotans!

This has potential. Especially after a day like I had yesterday!

This one makes you think. And thinking is good...

I put a post on my armouring blog about the Wisonsin Renaissance Faire. Today, here, I just wanted to share some of the really fun advertisements....these ones are NOT photoshopped.

Regards. Tomorrow, I promise to show off my trip to the zoo!

Risk

This is a re-post from waaaay back in ought five. Still valid though.

Spent a week in Toronto. Yet again, I have been amazed at the courtesy of Toronto drivers. Maybe Darwin was right...all the stupid ones have died off. What they DONT do is let you dawdle along doing the speed limit without tail gating you. Some of the unsafe passing was a little un-nerving.

I was working out our future business with my wife now that the Ren Fest has closed, and we were wondering if we should put time or money into one of the alternative proposals. "I dunno" she said "I'm not sure I want to risk whatever we could mortage...twenty or thirty thousand or so... on a business venture. Just at that moment, a Passant passes up at 90 klicks on a double solid line. A little startled, I checked my dashboard...yup, its a 60 zone and I am already doing 70. "Hmmmm" said I, "that fellow who just passed us is risking at least that much in his nice new car, risking the rest of his life, and risking damage to any on-coming car which might be coming over the hill at us. And for a payoff?

She looked at me....."so what is the connection?" "There are lots of people taking risk every day....huge risks, like that guy. Risk is part of life...no pain no gain....and of course risk can be evaluated. It helps if you don't think about it too closely." That guy is risking everything just for the hell of it.

My daddy used to tell me that you should never gamble more than you can afford to lose. He played crown and anchor, but never passed on a solid line. Like he said, don't gamble more than you are prepared to lose...and if you are going to do stupid things on the highway, or ride on "those" tires, or put off getting the new brake pads, you are not only gambling, but gambling stupidly because there is no payoff.

So what did we decide about our business venture....well for one thing, we decided that we had no control on the variables. We didn't own the show, didn't know how much the insurance would be, didn't know how much most of the expenses were. On the other hand, we had a fair idea of how much we could earn at the show. We have NO IDEA if earnings will exceed expenses. So investing in this show is like crossing on a double solid....we don't know what is coming over the hill at us. Obviously, most of these questions could be answered. For sure, we would earn SOMETHING....but will it be worth the losses?. The last question was...how much can we afford to lose on a gamble. JP Morgan once showed a broker the door when he said "well, this mining venture right here looks like a good gamble". Mr. Morgan replied..."I never gamble" and fired the broker. On the other hand...the broker went on to buy the mine, and made millions, and all his life regretted using the term "gambling" to describe a business venture. I think this venture is looking too much like a gamble. (And in fact, two years later, we feel that we made the right decision to pass on it.)

This whole line of thought came to me when I read a story in the Winnipeg Sun about road rage,http://www.canoe.ca/NewsStand/WinnipegSun/News/2005/05/09/1031641-sun.htmland it recalled to me our conversation as we were driving. This is kind of funny actually, though of course the results were a little tragic.

Four seventeen year olds out for a drive, were in the drive through at MacDonalds, and for some stupid seventeen year old reason, threw candy at one of the other cars. The other car contained some "baaad dudes" who chased them down, trashed their car with a chain, beat them up and stole their wallets. A most interesting lesson in "consequences". They gambled and lost. They COULD have lost a lot more. Some would say, They weren't gambling at all, they were just being kids. Well, they participated in the high speed chase (that was a gamble that they could get away)....they provoked the conflict (gambling that what they did would have no consequences).....I think it was a pretty cheap lesson all in all.

military "blog"....July, 1944

These are excerpts from the war diaries of the Calgary Highlanders, who were traveling through France on a government expense paid trip back in '44. It puts some of the modern events into perspective....

I was especially taken with the sparsely told but no doubt heartfelt story of the lady with the girl with the hair ribbon.

These are the originals. One of the great joys of living in the nations capital is that the archives are there for anybody to go in and examine. There is a big room, with large tables, and you wear gloves. The plus side is that any item in the archive can be examined. The minus side is that you sort of have to know what to look for since you can't just "fish in the stacks". These original documents will eventually be photographed and then put onto microfilm...when that day comes we will lose a lot of stuff. I mean, on some of the pages, you can smell the cordite smoke which came off the guys hands, and you can see the coffee rings and dusky fingerprints on General Crerar's maps. We will lose this when the photographer is called in.

I got a nice set of photocopies from the Archives, including these pages, and others, relating to the story of the Canadian "Battle for the Scheldt". This was the great unknown battle since Hollywood never really had any interest in it, but of course, the country of Holland remembers Canadians rolling through really well, and sends thousands of tulips every year for people to enjoy here in Ottawa.

Well, anyway, that was how it was mid July around Caen, France, some sixty four years ago.

Maxine's slide....

Maxine's Slide Down the Banister of Life:
1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called "Ministers Do More Than Lay People."
2. The difference between the Pope and your boss is that the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.
3. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it's gone.
4. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.
5. It used to be only death and taxes. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.
6. A transvestite is a guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.
7. My next house will have no kitchen -- just vending machines and a large trash can.
8. A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid."
9. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex.
10. As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.

The last of them...and the best of them

Larpers. Love the ears.

Tattoos.

Aquaman. The scale shirt weighs in at about thirty pounds.
As Brenda says, he is pretty easy on the eyes.

Above is Brenda selling a new cutlass to Captain Jack Sparrow. And me in the mirror.

And a last glimpse of the larpers. Nice folks. Cast spells...vanish when you look at them directly, have a barrel of fun at conventions where their normal dress is considered to "just a costume".

More Polaris Costumes

The predator above seems to be collecting a very nice selection of skulls.

Theyr are comin' thru the walls Lootenant!

When all else fails, call the "Love Guru". Counterpoise that violence!

Wonder woman unmasked. Prettier than I expected!

Another Jedi Knight.

Sid, looking vicious.

Ripley's cargo manipulator. Works too!

Transformers. Gotta love em.

Anybody see my mummy?

Stunning.

And Green Arrow never looked so good!

More Polaris Hall Costumes

Adam and his steam punk look. I think he does it best of those I have seen.

A tough lady.

Just as tough but without the attitude. Dig the skeleton hand...the last guy who took liberties.

My neighbours....in the booth next door. Arn't they a sweet couple?

Auditions for the new BlueWomanGroup went well.

And even Hellboy showed up.

Captain Jane. Prrrrrrrr.

And even cool tattoos. Those are always exciting.

As usual, click on these images to see them in their magnificent glory!

Polaris 2008

Just got back from "Polaris", the renamed Toronto Trek convention. The hall costumes were pretty stunning, and I have lots of pictures. Let these ones of a remarkable black on black costume whet your appetite.

click on the images to enlarge.

New Classes started

This is the first summer I have ever run classes....normally we take all of July and August off. But yesterday, we got a fantastic seventeen sign ups for the summer programme at the Community Centre. All Right!

Of course the only real problem is the heat! For reasons of economy, the community centre has put all its air conditioning into keeping control of the humidity created by that big hot indoor pool across the hall! There is not a lot left over to chill the people working out in the side rooms. It would be nice if we could open a few windows or doors, but "that would defeat the air conditioning". Really? WHAT air conditioning? All well.....it means that people cannot wear the full armour that Jeff is wearing in the picture....that would just lead to heat stroke. But they can still train the skills. And the heat is not all bad. Warm muscles train better and smoother than cold muscles.

Shayne took a dozen students aside and trained them into the most basic of moves, and will be the only one to deal with them next weekend while I am away. The creation of integrated classes (very knowledgable students alongisde total beginners) is trickier than it looks. Fortunately, I have enough tricks up my sleeve that I can share to keep the advanced students interested, and the basic class is full of very excited students that are doing really well. And I guess if I have achieved that, then I have achieved my goal.

Web Site of the Week

This week's Oh My Gosh cool web site has got to be Grog's animated "knot tying" site. Not quite sure why I like knots so much....and its not like I have on obsession with learning new ones....I only know about a dozen myself, but I do like to use a knot correctly and well. And some of these knots can give you real bragging rights for the show off in all of us, and some....well, like the knot in the illustration, seem to be designed mostly to keep you occupied on long sea voyages.

Grog wants to get people to know how to tie these knots, and his site has all these knots where when you click on them, they tie themselves....in neat and simple steps. You can go back and follow it through again and again with just a simple mouse click.

Please visit Grog's site.....http://www.animatedknots.com/

Why I hate hotmail

Many of the people that email me do so from hotmail accounts. Which is fine, except that I cannot reply to them....hotmail (bless their little Seattle coffee based hearts) has decided that very few other email programs will be allowed to reply to their subscribers. I had hoped that perhaps there might be a live person who could jigger the hotmail system to allow me in. No such luck.
This is the FAQ from their web site....

Q. Does Windows Live Hotmail operate an “allow list” that I can get on?

A. No. An allow list is essentially a “free pass” which allows e-mails from certain senders to bypass junk e-mail filters and other precautions. Windows Live Hotmail evaluates all inbound e-mail for malicious content. You can find out more about our filtering processes here.

and when you go to the link, you get this....

Q. How do I avoid having my messages marked as potentially dangerous?

A. To help prevent your messages from being identified, as possibly fraudulent:
• Always use valid, reputable URLs. Make sure it’s clear where the recipient will be taken and whether the destination is a valid website.
• Use the standard URL format. Avoid using IP addresses in the URL. • Where possible, publish your Sender Policy Framework (SPF) records. For more information about publishing your SPF records, visit http://www.microsoft.com/senderid
• Do not link to known phishing sites.

The key was in the second line up....."avoid using IP addresses in the URL". Since I use the email supplied with my domain (stag@southtower.on.ca) this is automatically flagged as a spam site.
Actually, it is flagged as a "this guy is not a hotmail customer so we are not letting him in" rule. Well, so thats it then! Its not a "security" thing, it is a marketing ploy to get people to join hotmail.

Clever.

The stranded Scot

A Stranded Scot

A Scotsman had been stranded on a deserted island for over 10 years. One day, he saw a speck on the horizon. He thought to himself, 'It's certainly not a ship.' As the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out the possibilities of a small boat or even a raft.

Suddenly there emerged from the surf a wet-suited, black-clad figure. Putting aside the scuba gear and the top of the wet suit, there stood a drop-dead gorgeous blonde! The glamorous blonde strode up to the stunned Scotsman and said to him, 'Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a cigarette?

''Ten years,' replied the amazed Scotsman. With that, she reached over and unzipped a waterproofed pocket on the left sleeve of her wet suit and pulled out a fresh pack of cigarettes.He took one, lit it, and took a long drag.

'Aye,' said the man, 'that is so good I'd almost forgotten how great a smoke can be!

''And how long has it been since you've had a drop of good Scotch whiskey?' asked the blonde.

Trembling, the castaway replied, 'Ten years.

'Hearing that, the blonde reached over to her right sleeve, unzipped a pocket, pulled out a flask and handed it to him. He opened the flask and took a long drink. 'Tis like the nectar of the gods!' stated the Scotsman. 'Tis truly fantastic!!!'

At this point the gorgeous blonde started to slowly unzip the long front of her wet suit, right down the middle. She looked at the trembling man and asked, 'And how long has it been since you played around?

'With tears in his eyes, the Scotsman fell to his knees and sobbed, 'Sweet Jesus! Don't tell me you've got golf clubs in there too!'

Wind storm

Not even the 30 pound deck blocks could keep this tent down!
The rain washed mud onto the sidewalk... it looks like a riverbed

My neighbour's tree.
The wind flipped my lawn tractor.

And knocked down my birdhouse. Not too much other damage though.

The motorcycle survived, it got knocked down, but it is fine.

Sunday Rant....

power politics, office politics... (yeah, this is a rehash of a post I had written back in '05)


Back in 2005, I was planning out my future career, and was reminded how seldom we get a chance in our lives to actually do that. Usually, people do what they gotta do from day to day, to make other people happy. There is usually a payoff in the long run, same as there is a payoff in taking the wife to the Ice Dance finals. (something which I detest so much that I have been known to pay people to stand in for me....)

Back when I was in the military, we would always be working at cross purposes. They said they wanted one thing, but always rewarded another. For instance, even back in basic training, they "said" they wanted super shiny shoes, super shiny floors and so forth, but they always rewarded conformity. If they really wanted the shiny floors, they would not have objected to the self shining floor waxes, and if they really wanted shiny shoes, they would not have objected to the lacquer. After a while, it became a bit of a game...."sure you SAY you want such and such, but you really want...what?" After I graduated, right on the grade point average....where I expected to be because of course I was too good too flunk out, but too independent to get top dog...my career followed much the same path.

I was on Bill's blog, and he posted a thing about office politics...some academic who had a theory that not all politics is bad...an excessive amount of verbiage to state the obvious that if it works FOR you, it is good, if it works AGAINST you, it is bad. So you should learn to make it work for you. Fine...in theory. I would like to meet an organization that didn't know that from the get go!Office politics is okay when it works for you, but not okay when you don't get what you want. It is there regardless, so it pays to learn how to play the game.It helps to write down your goals, put it on a paper under your blotter on your desk. The first question you ask whenever somebody comes up with an idea is "how will this aid the achievement of my goals". Second question..."If I support that fellow on his tangent, will it affect me and my goals in any way?"

Unfortunately, if they are brutally honest, most goals people would write down on that paper they slide under their blotter is "I want to get paid, get promoted, and look good to the boss, my wife, her brother and my employees." Fair enough...of course, nothing other than those goals will be achieved as long as management rewards that goal. As a boss myself, I recognized this phenomon, and roughshod over the office politics, making myself thoroughly unpopular with most people, getting the job done better than anybody had ever done it, but getting no loyalty from the organization when something goes wrong. And it did...eventually something blew up in my face, and I was disiplined not for messing up, but for not picking up a problem my idiot underling did. But a lot of airplanes got fixed right.

When did I become cynical? Well, maybe it was when a person I trained got promoted over me who had never done anything but organize office parties and file log books. He never fixed a problem, just worked in the front office handling the reports from the workers, filing them, collating them, being in front of the bosses all the time. We were aircraft technicians, and this joker got promoted without ever setting foot on an aircraft in his entire career. All cynicism aside, it was very instructive for me and my group to observe this, and re-define our goals based on solid observation....sucking up to the bosses works....so if you want to get promoted, buy the knee pads, and start organizing parties. We did that, the aircrafts languished, eventually being retired because they were "too difficult to keep repaired", and we partied and played office politics because you could get into less trouble by doing nothing than by possibly doing something wrong.

In retrospect, with the loss of the aircraft, we all lost our jobs as well, but hey, ya gotta do what works. At least we didn't end up in jail. This often happened to the last person who fixed the aircraft. I saw how to make the organization work (define your goals), how to make it fail (reward the wrong goals) and how to thrive in either mode. Not bad... Of course, it really doesn't matter now since this knowledge has made me pretty much unemployable!

Friday Funnies.....airports chat

Here are some conversations airline passengers normally will never hear. The following are accounts of actual exchanges between airline pilots and control towers around the world. Thanks Judy for sending these to me.

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Pilot: 'Albuquerque Center, this is United 372. I have an engine that just went out and I need to land. No panic, but I need a runway that's close to my present location.'
Tower: 'United 372, this is Albuquerque Center. You are cleared to land at (Name of town I have never heard of) Airport immediately.'
Pilot: (Who had obviously never heard of town either) 'Hey, I'm not talking some crop duster airport here, Albuquerque Center.'
Tower: 'United 372, that runway is 6,700 feet long. Is THAT going to be enough for you, or do you want me to send someone up to help you land?'

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Tower: 'Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!'
Delta 351: 'Give us another hint! We have digital watches!'

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'TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees.
''Centre, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?
''Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?'

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From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: 'I'm f...ing bored!'
Ground Traffic Control: 'Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!
'Unknown aircraft: 'I said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing stupid!'

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O'Hare Approach Control to a 747: 'United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, three miles, Eastbound.'
United 239: 'Approach, I've always wanted to say this... I've got the little Fokker in sight.'

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A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, 'What was your last known position?
'Student: 'When I was number one for takeoff.'

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A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long roll out after touching down. San Jose Tower Noted: 'American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able. If you are not able, take the Guadalupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights, and return to the airport.'

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There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing because his single-engine jet fighter was running 'a bit peaked.'
Air Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was number two, behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down.
'Ah,' the fighter pilot remarked, 'The dreaded seven-engine approach.

'=======================================================

Taxiing down the tarmac, a DC-10 abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, 'What, exactly, was the problem?' 'The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine,' explained the flight attendant. 'It took us a while to find a new pilot.

'=======================================================

A Pan Am 727 flight waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard the following:
Lufthansa (in German): 'Ground, what is our start clearance time?'
Ground (in English): 'If you want an answer you must speak in English.'
Lufthansa (in English): 'I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?'
Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): 'Because you lost the bloody war.

'=======================================================

Tower: 'Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on frequency 124.7' Eastern 702: 'Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way, after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway.' Tower: 'Continental 635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702, contact Departure on frequency 124.7. Did you copy that report from Eastern 702?' Continental 635: 'Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern... we've already notified our caterers.'

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One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said, 'What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?' The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real zinger: 'I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like yours and I'll have enough parts for another one.

'=======================================================

The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it waswith some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the followingexchange between Frankfurt groundcontrol and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.
Speedbird 206: 'Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway.'Ground: 'Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven.'The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.
Ground: 'Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?' Speedbird 206: 'Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now.'
Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): 'Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?'
Speedbird 206 (coolly): 'Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark, -- and I didn't land.'

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While taxiing at London's Gatwick Airport, the crew of a U.S. Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727. An irate female ground controller lashed out at the U.S. Air crew, screaming: 'U.S. Air 2771, where the hell are you going? I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the differencebetween C and D, but get it right!'Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically: 'God! Now you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don't move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, U.S. Air 2771?''Yes, ma'am,' the humbled crew responded. Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of U.S. Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind. Tension in every cockpit around Gatwick was definitely running high. Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, asking: 'Wasn't I married to you once?'

Beechwood Cemetary

On a fine day last May, I visited Beechwood Cemetary with Brenda, and saw these nice plaques. I am surprised that nobody has pried them off to sell for scrap metal yet!

Below is a stone at the entrance to the military portion of the cemetary.


Below is an honest to gosh battle tank brought back after the unpleantness of Europe in 1945. The tulips are supplied by the Dutch government in perpetuity in thanks for their liberation.

The plaque on the tank. If you enlarge this pic, you "should" be able to read it.

And below is the plaque at the entrance to the military cemetary. And thats probably me in the background, still above ground.

It was a pretty day....getting on towards dusk. The crab apple and cherry trees were in full bloom, the lilacs were perfuming the air, and we were the only ones there. That is, the only ones alive. And no, it wasn't spooky....rather cozy, like a well kept garden, or a nice park.